How C-PTSD Shows Up in Life, Work, and Relationships

I want to talk about something that’s often misunderstood but affects so many people in deep and lasting ways: Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or C-PTSD. If you or someone you love is living with C-PTSD, it can feel like there’s an invisible weight pulling on you—one that affects not just your emotions but every part of your life, from your work to your relationships.  

While many of us have some understanding of PTSD, which can develop after a single traumatic event, C-PTSD often stems from repeated or long-term exposure to trauma, like childhood abuse, neglect, or being in a toxic relationship for years. It’s different from PTSD in that it weaves itself into your identity, your sense of safety, and how you relate to others and the world. The effects can be subtle but profound, and they show up in ways we don’t always recognize right away.  

So, let’s break down how C-PTSD can manifest in your everyday life, your work, and your relationships—and, most importantly, what you can do to start healing.

Life With C-PTSD: The Internal Struggle

Living with C-PTSD can feel like constantly walking on uneven ground. Some days, you might be functioning well, but other days, it’s like old wounds resurface without warning. This can make life feel unpredictable and exhausting.

Here are a few ways C-PTSD often shows up in day-to-day life:

1. Hypervigilance: You might always feel on edge, like something bad could happen at any moment. This heightened state of alertness can lead to anxiety, insomnia, or feeling “wired” even when there’s no immediate threat.
2. Emotional Flashbacks: Unlike traditional PTSD, where someone might relive a traumatic event through vivid flashbacks, C-PTSD often shows up as emotional flashbacks. This means suddenly feeling overwhelming fear, shame, or helplessness that may not match what’s happening in the moment. It’s as if your body remembers the trauma even if your mind isn’t consciously aware of it. (A great book that discusses this is Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score.)
3. Difficulty With Self-Image: C-PTSD can deeply impact how you see yourself. You might struggle with feelings of worthlessness or guilt, or feel like you’re “not enough,” no matter what you do. These thoughts often stem from the repeated trauma that you experienced that made you feel small or powerless.
4.  Avoidance and Isolation: It’s common for people with C-PTSD to avoid situations that remind them of past trauma. This might mean pulling away from certain people, places, or even activities that used to bring joy. Over time, this can lead to feeling isolated or disconnected from the world.  

C-PTSD at Work: Struggles You Might Not Even Realize Are Trauma-Related

Work can be a tough environment for people with C-PTSD, especially because so much of what we experience there can trigger old feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure. If you find work challenging in ways that others seem to breeze through, your C-PTSD could be playing a bigger role than you think.

Here are a few common ways it can show up:

1. Imposter Syndrome: Many people with C-PTSD feel like they don’t truly belong or deserve their success. You might constantly doubt your abilities or worry that others will “find out” you’re not as capable as you seem. This internal dialogue can lead to perfectionism or overworking, as you try to prove to yourself and others that you’re good enough.
2. Difficulty Managing Stress: Because your nervous system has been on high alert for so long, handling normal work stress can feel overwhelming. Small tasks can seem like massive hurdles, and you may find yourself feeling burnt out faster than others.
3. Fear of Authority Figures or Criticism: If your trauma involved people in power—like parents, teachers, or other authority figures—then dealing with bosses or supervisors can trigger old fears. Even constructive feedback might feel like a personal attack, and you could find yourself avoiding conversations or meetings to escape the anxiety.
4. People-Pleasing and Boundary Issues: At work, you might find it hard to say no to others, even when you’re stretched too thin. This stems from a fear of rejection or conflict, as people with C-PTSD often learned to keep others happy as a survival mechanism during their trauma.

C-PTSD in Relationships: Navigating Connection When Trust Feels Fragile

Relationships are often the most impacted by C-PTSD, because they’re where we feel the most vulnerable. Trauma, especially complex trauma, can make trust difficult, intimacy frightening, and connection seem elusive. The very things that make relationships strong—trust, openness, and vulnerability—can feel like a threat when you’ve been hurt repeatedly in the past.

Here’s how C-PTSD can affect your relationships:

1. Fear of Abandonment or Rejection: Because C-PTSD often stems from relationships where trust was broken (like abusive or neglectful family dynamics), you might live with a constant fear that those closest to you will leave or reject you. This can lead to behaviors like being overly clingy or, on the flip side, pushing people away before they have a chance to hurt you.
2. Emotional Numbing or Dissociation: Sometimes, the emotions tied to past trauma can feel so overwhelming that the brain protects itself by shutting down emotionally. In relationships, this can look like being distant or having trouble feeling close to others, even when you want to. You might struggle to express emotions or feel disconnected from your partner or loved ones.
3. Difficulty With Boundaries: People with C-PTSD often have a hard time setting healthy boundaries in relationships. You might feel like you need to take care of everyone else, even if it’s at your own expense. Or, you might struggle to let people in because maintaining boundaries feels too risky or overwhelming.
4. Triggers in Conflict: Relationship conflicts can be particularly challenging if they bring up old trauma wounds. For example, a simple disagreement might feel like a major threat to the relationship, leading to feelings of panic or shutting down emotionally. This is because your brain might be associating the current conflict with past trauma, making it hard to stay grounded in the present.

What You Can Do to Start Healing

If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know that healing from C-PTSD is possible. It’s not easy, but with the right support and tools, you can regain a sense of safety, trust, and connection in your life.

Here are a few steps to help you start moving forward:

1. Seek Professional Help: Healing from C-PTSD often requires the help of a therapist who specializes in trauma. (Hello ) Therapy can help you process past experiences, develop coping strategies, and begin to feel safer in your own skin. Approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) or somatic therapy can be especially helpful in releasing trauma stored in the body.
2. Learn to Identify Triggers: A big part of managing C-PTSD is learning to recognize what triggers emotional flashbacks or feelings of overwhelm. Once you know your triggers, you can develop strategies to manage them and reduce their impact on your daily life.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: One of the hardest parts of living with C-PTSD is the internal criticism that can develop from years of feeling “not enough.” Learning to be kind to yourself, even when you’re struggling, is a crucial part of healing.
4. Build Healthy Boundaries: Whether at work or in relationships, setting boundaries helps you protect your energy and emotional well-being. Learning to say no, communicate your needs, and stand up for yourself (even when it feels uncomfortable) is key to creating safe, healthy connections with others.

Healing Takes Time—And That’s Okay

Living with C-PTSD can feel overwhelming at times, but I want you to know that healing is possible. It takes time, patience, and often a combination of different types of support, but every step you take toward healing is progress.

You deserve to live a life where you feel safe, loved, and at peace—both within yourself and in your relationships. And while the road to recovery may have its ups and downs, know that you don’t have to walk it alone.

Take care of yourself and remember that healing is a journey, not a destination.